Deja vu
by Louie du lac
Summary: Discontinued, I'm just not in the right place to write this right now to be honest. It was started ages ago and the idea isn't very good if I'm honest with myself - -
1. First impressions

I had been a year away from leaving, the snow had fallen overnight but not enough to the younger students disappointment to allow them a day off. I remember being one of those children that raced to the radio to listen eagerly to the list of names hoping my school would be one of them. It makes me smile to remember simple things like that. The playground had been littered with patches of ice and we had been crossing on the way home. "We" were me and three others...Jennifer, She was so loving and kind. That day she had been bundled up in the grey blazer that was part of the school uniform, a purple scarf and matching gloves, her cheeks flushed from the cold wind. Second was Will, I'd known him for years, we lived next door to each other for a while. That day he had stuffed his blazer into his bag carelessly and was running ahead to skid on patches of ice and then laughing hysterically at near falls. Lance was the sensible one, he was at jen's elbow incase she fell, they had been dating only a month but I liked him well enough, he was good to her. Normally at that time the playground was empty, most people cleared out as early as possible when it was cold. They were off having snowball fights or at friends houses with mugs of hot chocolate. That day however there had been a large group of year elevens gathered around, looking back on it now I wish that I'd just kept walking, or maybe turned around and found another way but oh no, I had to go and play the hero. Because right there in the centre of the larger lads was a year seven being picked on by the leader. I couldn't-can't stand the kind of cowardice that motivates bullying, It's disgusting.

"What's your name boy?"

The guy standing over him was blonde and athletic. Oh and let's not forget arrogant.

"I'm sorry what was that? Speak up?"

The kid infront of him was terrified and had only managed a whimper,

"Greg Morris..."

"Well I'm sorry Gregory but I can't let this go unpunished you know."

The larger boy was patronising and everything about his manner provoked something in me, hs strutted around like he owned the in me was screaming to walk away-and I probably should've done-I spoke up.

Idiot.

"That's enough!"

"I'm sorry?"

His voice raised at the end of the sentence with his eyebrows as he looked through the crowd to find the speaker who challenged him.

"I said that's enough. Leave the poor kid alone."

I took a step towards the group of older kids so that he could see who had spoken, why did I do that? Members of the group had begun to snigger and it was everything I could do not to shake.

"This is none of your business, _Mate."_

His lackeys parted to let him through and I noticed he had blue eyes to go with the gold hair. Coventionally good looking I suppose. A sports kit bag hung over his shoulder, a red and gold scarf adorned his neck.

"So turn around, take your friends and bugger off. Now."

The boy had gotten quite close and now leant in to prod me as if to emphasise the point. Eyes met if only for a second before he turned around, satisfied he'd scared me enough to make me back off.

I stole a glance at my friends for reassurance, even Will looked slightly worried, that alone should have been a sign. Will was never worried. I caught Jen's eyes and grinned, trying to lighten the atmosphere, she looked a little scared but only because she knew what I could do if I felt like it. Maybe if she'd credit me with a little maturity, I might develop some? Nah.

"No."

"What did you say?"

He'd stopped halfway between his friends and mine.

"Merlin don't."

Jen spoke up behind me.

"_Merlin_? What a stupid name."

Yeah. My parents had a real sense of humour.

I suppose if I could have kept my gob shut for once I would have been left alone but now the idiot seemed to have decided I deserved what was coming to me, I couldn't make it worse...could I?

"Well, I'd rather have my name than your personality. Tell me does it come naturally or do you have to work at it?"

I grinned, from one big ear to the other as the older boy looked me in the eyes. Blue met blue.

"Are you trying to start a fight? You skinny idiot, I could kick your ass with one arm tied behind my back."

I still can't believe I didn't laugh at him. If you ask me he might have taken that a little too personally.

He looked back at his friends and a mumble of agreement made it's way through the crowd, seemed he might have been the leader for a reason,

"I cound kick yours with **both** tied behind my back. You arrogant prat."

"Excuse me?"

I grinned at the look on the others boys face, it was disbelief. He obviously wasn't used to people answering back, to people who stood up for themselves.

"You heard me."

If his eyebrows rose any higher they would disappear into the mess of blonde hair.

When he turned to seek assistance from his friends I took my chance, he missed the gold glow in the eyes of his "victim", too busy thinking of a suitable punishment most likely.

"Bring it on then, come on"

I hesitated, I'm not great physically in a fight when it comes down to it. I'm fast but that's about it. A smirk spread over his lips,

"All talk and no action little boy?"

It was only a matter of seconds, all I had to do was pretend I was going to attack and the blonde adjusted his footing appropriately, unfortunately he didn't consider the freshly formed ice underneath him. Arms like windmill blades and he ended up flat on his behind.

Lance laughed loundly behind me before getting a elbow in the ribs from Jen. Laughter swept through the other side of the group too except for one girl who rushed forward to help the bully up, I stopped smiling as worried green eyes met mines, she looked up apologetically before bending to help her friend,

"No" he said, pushing her away,"Stop it, I don't need any help. I can get up on my own."

His tone was irritable and it wasn't surprising, he's just been humiliated infront of all his friends by a "lowly" year ten. I knew enought about him to know that this wasn't over. His pride wouldn't allow it.

"Is there a problem here?"

A female voice asked, they were approached by a figure I recognised as one of the PE teachers,

"Oh! Arthur did you fall over?"

Arthur? So that was his name, as in King? Merlin and Arthur? Cool coincidence if he wasn't such a prat.

"'m fine" he mumbled glaring in my direction, I knew I shouldn't but I grinned wildly back. With that action I decided to defy him further, what the hell, I was screwed anyway. I walked straight over to the boy, Greg, lifted him to his feet and planted him on the rather confused teacher with excuses of how he'd fallen and needed to go to the nurse. The little boy looked up at both of us with gratitude and before the teacher could leave the group, I grabbed the others and rushed them out. Jen had later given me an earful about abuse of power and responsiblity but it had been worth it.

What neither party knew back then was that their encounter had been witnessed by another. In a classroom overlooking the playground the headmaster, an old gentlemen who believed in good manners, discipline and destiny, sighed to himself. They were far from ready, he could only wait he thought to himself, hopefully he wouldn't have to wait too long.

XXXXX


	2. Why can't I?

**Okay. sorry for the lack of introduction on the last chapter, I'm kinda just getting the hang of this :) Soo...This chapter is set 5 years later, sorry if that is confusing but I just had to write that first bit(it's been in the back of my mind for AGES), Merlin is now at university and this gives me the chance to introduce some other characters.(Oh and did anyone guess who the headmaster is?) **

**I don't own merlin or it's character but they have taken up residence in my imagination and won't leave :) Enjoy x**

"Mr ambrosius!"

I jumped out of my skin as the the metal ruler smacked the desk infront of me.

"Ah there is life in there after all. Can you tell me if solution X forms a red precipitate when added to this mixture what X is?"

oh crap. It's as if my brain has just stopped working, if it ever did in the first place.

"No sir, sorry sir"

I said quietly, there were a few sniggers from the back of the laboratory but a sharp look from the teacher and they died down.

"See me after class Merlin."

I fought the temptation to sigh, after all it would only make things worse. The rest of the lecture was rather boring in all honesty, effervescence this, red precipitate that. Times like this I wish I was 16 and back in school. I kept my seat as the rest of the class filed out leaving me to my fate.

"Merlin, I know you're my nephew but in the classroom you're just another pupil and I expect you to pay attention like one!"

"I'm sorry Gaius."

He rolled his eyes and began to pack the apparatus away.

"Do you want to help an old man here?"

It wasn't a rhetorical question, I knew that tone well enough so I bent down to help put the glass ware into the sink and wash it out.

Gaius had finished his task and rested one hand on the bench to look at me, I was forced to meet his gaze,

"Is there something wrong? Do you need me to call your mother?"

"No!"

He took that as I had intended it, he meant well, I could accept that but there was this gaping hole in my life. Something was missing but I could never put my finger on it.

"Well hello handsome."

The voice from behind made me jump and I span round to face the girl, I hadn't heard the door but there she was all the same, leaning suggestively against the door frame. Her hair was long, straight and brown, her rose pink dress stood out against pale skin.

"Vivianne!"

Another stood behind her, she was a slight girl made even smaller by her friends presense. Her hair wavy and the most beautiful brown eyes darted around the room.

"Your friend is right Miss Harris. Perhaps you would get further if you kept that kind of behaviour to yourself," he turned to me,"Merlin, I want an essay on today's lesson, 1200 words, Tuesday. Now if we're are finished I suggest you be on your way."

I could tell that he was dissapointed by the interupption. I was in for more questions when I got home but hey, I'd worry about that then. Vivianne winked as I passed and her friend averted her eyes, I didn't look away for a second. She was beautiful.

"Oh freya, give the boy your number, he's obviously infatuated with you."

A soft blush spread across her cheeks before she turned away from me. Gaius's deliberate cough brought me back to earth with a bumb though, I felt a warm rush in my cheeks and got out of there before my ears could join in. It was so embarrasing! Even so I left the University grinning like an absolute idiot.

XXXX

The bar was almost empty as I made my way in. Old furniture supported and even older gentlemen in the corner and as I caught sight of the bartender I grinned, showing as many teeth as possible. I was greeted with a giggle.

"Jen."

"How was your day?"

She brushed stray curls from here eyes as she poured me an orange juice. I don't drink it does strange things to my magic.

"Pretty boring. I got an earful and an essay from gaius but I s'pose I deserved it..."

I broke off, remembering the beautiful freya. I blushed again.

"Merliiinnn...you're blushing." she teased, "What were you thinking of?"

"Nothing."

"Doesn't look like nothing...I think you just got another three shades darker." she covered her mouth but not enough as I still caught the laugh that escaped. I fought the urge to grin again, It would only spur her on.

"I met a girl." I admitted.

She raised her eyebrows,

"What? Do you find it hard to believe that anybody would be interested in me?" I joked

"AWW! he's blushing, are you teasing him again girl?"

A rough irish accent drowned out anything else as the Jen's boss walked out from the back. Guy was a tall well built man. He had long(well long for a guy) brown hair and a tendancy to speak his mind more than was neccessary. He also enjoyed teasing me. Alot.

"Guy! leave the poor boy alone."

He shrugged before picking up the used glasses on the bar,

"You started it."

"Did not!"

"Did so."

"Did not!" He stuck his tongue out in retaliation.

Feeling rather like a spare part I turned my attention to the room, picking out pattens in the faded blue carpet. I wonder if Gaius would find me a way to meet with her again, probably not, he was kind to me but I had a feeling he wouldn't help with this.

"Merlin!"

Jen brought me out of my daydream,

"What?"

"You've turned your juice pink!" She sighed and snatched the glass, pouring the fluorescent liquid down the sink, I gave her an impish smile and shrugged my shoulders when she shook her head at me.

I'm not all that skilled at controlling whatever it was I can do. And whatever happens and Jen had been friends nearly all my life, she was the only one outside my family who really knew who I am, she stops me feeling like anything's missing. Maybe there was a time when we felt we were more than friends but right now she's my best friend, my sister almost. I'd swap Emery for her any day. I didn't hear the bell ring behind me but Jen had stopped talking so I looked up. The chair next to me scraped the floor and a figure blocked the sun that was streaming through the open window, and I looked up to find someone who I'd thought was long gone from my life.

**So there you have it, chapter 2. It's kind of obvious who Guy is, I kept gaius the same because nothing else seem to fit but Vivianne is not vivian from the show, but who do you think she is? Also "Emery" is Merlins little sister. Its just something I made up, she may appear later on or maybe not at all.**

**Next chapter: Arthur(yay!) Lancelot, and someone discovers Merlin's extra "talents"**


	3. I'd rather forget

**I don't own merlin or it's characters.**

To anybody watching the man's eyes flickered gold as he watched, captivated by the large white candle on the desk. The light from the flame reflected off the oval frames of his glasses but he seemed odly at ease and as he watched figures appeared within the flame.

* * *

"Nice to see you Guy."

I caught Guy raise his head when the new arrival addressed him, he straightened up and nodded in recognition.

"Don't lie, Arthur, you're no good at it." He leant on the bar. "And even if you were, I wouldn't believe that wopper. You come here to rub my face in the fact that you think you can get me fired because your father owns the building."

"And there was me thinking I came for the warm atmosphere and...friendly service." He winked at Jen and she blushed. I hadn't moved a muscle since he had sat down, not wanting to draw his attention but when Guy went in back again and Jen diverted her attentions to another customer I was left with him. I glanced to my left out the corner of my eyes as discreetly as I could manage, he was sitting there staring after Jen. But it didn't escape his notice unfortunately, his unwelcome gaze fell upon me.

"Do I know you?"

"No"

I replied almost too quickly, cutting off the end of his words.

"I'm sure I do. You look familiar."

"I get that a lot...got one of those faces."

He narrowed his eyes at me,

"Merlin isn't it? How could I forget."

I was stunned when he offered me a hand, I took it.

"Hey" he smiled at Jen as she returned, "How was your day?"

Much to my amazement he proceeded to lean over the bar and kiss her on the cheek. Only Jen caught the expression on my face, looking away as quickly as she could.

"It was ok. How was yours?"

Slowly I got up and wandered over to the door that led to the back. Sure I wasn't technically allowed back there, Guy had even begun to lock the door after I'd ignored his rule but when it didn't keep me out he'd quickly stopped, saying he had more important things to worry about than keeping me out.

"What are you doing!"

Guy made me jump as I pushed the door to quietly.

"Trying to avoid him."

I pointed to Arthur, still sitting behind the bar, still talking. Man he likes the sound of his own voice! I looked back into a confused expression.

"Arthur? Why?"

"I'll explain later, can I stay here till he goes? Please...Pleeeaaase."

"Fine, just...don't touch anything."

I smiled,

"You have my word." I said, fake bowing and earning a slap to the back of the head. I know it's childish but I just couldn't get over the shock. He was definately not the bully I remembered, Jen wouldn't go anywhere near him if he was but there was still something there that made me uneasy.

"Explaination time big ears."

The door to the pub clicked shut and I looked up at Guy trying not to feel stupid. I explained it all. And he just stood there and listened.

"People can change you know. Just because he did those things years ago...What I'm trying to say is, I know the guy."

"Fine, next time I'll try and talk to him but I gotta go now."

He had his arms folded and was fighting a grin,

"You think I'm an idiot, don't you?"

"Mmm-hmm" He nodded. Great.

* * *

I'd headed home, having nothing other that work to occupy myself but it was 7, getting dark out and I didn't want to stay home in the flat. I grabbed my keys and pushed them into the pockets of my worn, brown leather jacket I had taken to wearing most of the time. My jeans were fraying around the bottoms but they were clean...ish.

It was cold outside, a typical autumn day. The wind blowing golden and red leaves all about. The sky was a shade of dusky pink which I'd never admit to anyone but I rather like. Most of the time it felt like there was something missing, a nagging at the back of my mind. An absence I could never find words to explain. When I'd been youn mum had sent me to see someone, she thought I had been mentally ill but she'd given up after her attempts had ended in five bitten and severely pissed off psychologists.

When I reached the park I began to run as I heard a yell pierce the silence. Two shadowy figures stood in the otherwise empty park. I could clearly make out the knife in the taller's hand. I couldn't help myself, the energy inside of me broke out,

"NO!"

The stranger flew backwards and hit the tree with a loud "thunk", he groaned and fell silent.

I reached the stranger and leant on my knees to catch my breath before looking up in a familiar face,

"Lance." I exhaled quickly, his nose was bloody and crooked but there was no mistaking him for anyone else.

"I don't suppose you'd believe me if I told you that was the wind." I said hopefully. He shook his head. Yeah, thought not.


	4. Lux Aeterna

**This chapter is a short one but I really enjoyed writing it. It's called Lux aeterna bacause I listen to music as I write and this was inspired by that song...so give it a listen, it is an amazing piece of music :) xxx **

**I don't own Merlin, the BBC does.**

* * *

He stared at me expectantly as I frantically tried to think of an excuse for what he had seen me do, there seemed no way around it but to tell him the truth.

"I..."

I was interrupted though, she stepped out of the trees, moonlight glinting silver off the blonde waves of her hair, brown eyes rimmed with black eyeliner looked up at the both of us.

"Isn't it ironic that the warlock should arrive just in time to save the knight in shining armour, don't you think?"

"Who are you?"

She answered with an amused chuckle,

"Don't you already know?"

Her voice was smug,

"Oh! This is too good, the great Emrys doesn't remember." She scoffed, "Maybe, this will help jog your memory."

Her face was suddenly lit up by the light that formed in her hands, swirling and gathering brighter and brighter in the centre. I pushed Lance back out of the way just in time, the light formed a beam which slammed into me with such force that I was forced backwards. My head bashed against the ground but I was more stunned by her, I'd never met someone else like me and had she not been trying to kill, maim or seriously injure me I would have been happier.

"Lance! Get down!" I cried, he leapt out of the way just as another beam of light hit the ground to his right. I got to my feet quickly.

"Who are you?"

The wind was howling now, it had to be her. Despite the force behind it I pushed one foot in front of the other in her direction,

"Why are you doing this?"

She simply smiled again before the light appeared again, but this time something stirred within me. I forced it back towards her, now pushing with everything I had. A shield appeared around myself and lance, gold where her magic was trying to force its way through.

Shock appeared in her expression but not for long, her eyes flashed gold and we were suddenly surrounded by fire. I don't know where the word came from, where I'd heard it before but my heart was pounding and the heat from the fire was growing hotter and hotter,

"_gerínan_."

It started with a few drops but the rain was suddenly coming down heavier than I'd ever seen it. The fire surrounding us hissed violently and went out creating clouds of angry grey smoke.

"This isn't over!"

The stranger yelled over the hammering of the rain, resigned to her fate I watched in surprise as she vanished. Lance was now on his feet and next to me,

"We need to go." he yelled. He grabbed my arm as I stared in shock at the spot where the woman had stood, "Quickly Merlin! Someone is bound to have seen all that."

The rain continued to poor down, tiny streams of water running down my face as I took one more look then we left. Running through the rain as if she might suddenly reappear.

"I know somewhere we can go!"

I checked my watch, not too late.

The old metal hinges of the sign outside were screeching in protest as the face of the green man swung back and forth. The door was locked but with a wave of my hand there was a click. I took a deep breath and braced myself as it swung inwards.

* * *

**I'm pretty sure my old English translation here is dodgy, as far as I know it means "to wet with rain" but if anyone else has a better translation I'd love to hear it-Louie x**


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